God is our Heavenly Father – He is our Dad. Dads are designed to be the leader and head of the family. They are meant to protect, provide and guide their children. We are called to be obedient to our parents, and that does in fact include our Father in Heaven above all else.
As I contemplated this post I realized that my own defiance and procrastination about writing this post felt very similar to me defying my parents. I don’t always want to do what my Dad tells me to do but in the end, I realize that He is the only one who knows what is actually best for me. He is exactly the kind of Dad I need.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1
I have had an incredibly difficult relationship with my parents. I love them, I want to have a strong relationship with them, but this is not the case for me. My parents see me very differently than my Dad sees me. When they put me down I hear my Dad say “Be still, you are beautiful to me”. When I feel used, hurt, forgotten, and unwanted I feel His love, I feel Him pulling me closer like a child wrapped up in the arms of a Father who loves her.
When I feel alone, longing for a relationship with my family, He reminds me of the amazing, loving, beautiful family He has surrounded me with and His own place as the Head of that family. God is in every way the best Dad a child could ever hope for, could ever need, could ever desire.
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1
We have an opportunity to build an extremely fulfilling relationship with a Father who loves us and wants nothing but the best for us; a Father who wants to spoil us with blessings, humble us with lessons and discipline (often one and the same), and be with us wherever we go to protect us, help us, save us, heal us, and cheer for us. No matter if your relationship with your earthly parents is the best you could ever hope for or the worst you could ever imagine – you have a Dad who is always there, seeking to strengthen His relationship with you every day.
“Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.”
Growing up I was incredibly unhappy. One day I was telling my dad how miserable I was. I was so depressed and I didn’t know how to not feel the way I felt. What he said was a huge turning point for me, and is the only piece of advice I remember receiving from him that held weight, and somehow I knew that my dad was just the vessel for the words I needed to hear. He said:
“If you want to be happy, be happy. That is a choice. You can choose to stay miserable and unhappy, or you can choose to be happy.”
I mean, obviously, it isn’t that easy, right? But it hit me to my core. That shook me. Why was I so miserable in the first place? Because I was seeking the attention and approval of other human beings. Because I was looking for my worth in the opinions of people. SPOILER ALERT: humans are NOT perfect and that is why it is such a precious gift to have a relationship with a Perfect Father.
God’s approval is the only approval worth seeking
It took me years to figure out this whole Father-Daughter relationship thing, and yes I still struggle, but I know that I can run to my Dad who does love me, who does see me as valuable and beautiful, who does want the best for me, who will help me, protect me, love me, and provide for me no matter what.
Even in discipline, I find comfort because I know it is for my good. I know, in my relationship with my Dad that grows stronger all the time, that He is correcting me to help me avoid mistakes and hurt. When it does hurt it is so that I can learn and grow. This is how a relationship with our Heavenly Father should feel.
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
If you are struggling to find a relationship with your Dad, let me tell you that He is waiting for you to just openly seek Him out. If you want to feel the comfort only He can provide, just ask!
I want to seek you honestly. I give myself up to you in obedience as your child. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for wanting a relationship with a broken person like me. I ask you to please help me, be my Father, help me learn to be Your child. I am Yours and You are mine and I need help. I open myself up to you and I give you control.
Amen
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.
About a year and a half ago I became a stay at home mom for the first time. With that came some unexpected challenges in balancing my priorities. I finally had all the time in the world to sit and suck myself into the video games I loved, but behind me sat a dirty house and, more importantly, my family.
I had spent many years filled with anxiety over providing for my family, keeping the house tidy, putting food on the table, and now, I thought, I could finally take a breath and enjoy myself! But after some time I realized just how upside down my priorities were. The clutter increased, my family felt neglected, and it was harder and harder to pull myself from my games. My anxiety grew and I felt lost.
There are definitely days I would still prefer to sit and do my thing all day long, but what I now understand is that God actually gave us a priority list that is intended to help us do life better, enjoy experiences more, and be at peace even in the every-day chaos. Since I started refocusing my routines to align with His plan, I find so much more peace and joy in my days – AND, yes, I still have time to play games and snag some me-time. When I focus on living out His selfless design I gain more self-fulfillment in all I do.
What is God’s priority list?
When God created man, they were created in His own image. God set man just below the angels and above everything else He created. He then created woman as a helper for man, and their children to be in obedience to the parents.
What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet.
Our first focus should always be on God; on His plan and instruction, on the things of Heaven. Only when we put God at the center and uppermost focus of our lives can we take the best care of our family and ourselves. Period. Building a relationship with Christ should be our first priority in all we do. This sets the strongest foundation for our life.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Next, we focus on our spouse. In this deep and personal relationship, it can be all too easy to put our significant other on the highest pedestal. What they want, desire, or even dislike often becomes precedence. The other side of that, though, is when we put our own needs above our spouse’s. Both are dangerous territory and will throw your relationship into disorder.
Your marriage is compared in scripture to Jesus and His church. Jesus, who is God in the flesh, is head of the Church. The Church submits to Jesus as the wife submits to the husband. Wow, wow, wow – not this whole “submit” thing again! Hold on a second and let’s discuss the true meaning of the word “submit”.
‘Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. ‘
This use of “submit” does not mean you are a servant, are inferior, are weak. Submission in marriage is a sign of strength, respect, and acknowledgment that God set the husband to be the head of the family. This “submission” means a wife is a true helper to her husband. It is to have the heart of respect, humility, strength, and helpfulness. Proverbs 31 is an amazing reference to dive in further.
‘ A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. ‘
On the other hand, husbands are called to love their wives. God even tells us exactly how we should love each other throughout scripture. In 1 Corinthians we learn that love is patient and kind, does not dishonor, and is not selfish or prideful. Husbands should not hold anything over their wife, guilt them, demean or shame them. We see the purest example of love in Jesus sacrificing himself for the Church, an incredible and powerful example of a marriage relationship.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
A husband is to be his wife’s caregiver, her best friend, her protector. A wife is meant to be her husband’s helper and confidant. She is called to honor and respect his position as protector and head of the family. Remember what I said about a 100/100 contribution? We should be ready to give 100% of ourselves to God, and also to, and for, our spouse.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Being a submissive wife and a loving husband is about a balanced relationship where each side understands the role God has placed them in. A marriage relationship should always honor both people. It is not a 50/50 split; it is a 100/100 contribution on both sides. You are responsible for your side of the relationship. You cannot control anyone but yourself. Focus first on Christ and constantly pray for your relationship, ask for guidance and let God fill and guide your relationship.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
A solid marriage relationship is found when the first priority is God, and the relationship is built on His foundation. When we have a solid Christ foundation and strive for a healthy, Biblical marriage, we are then better equipped for healthy relationships with our children. I took a class a couple of years ago called “Women Aware and Choosing” that really helped me understand God’s design for prioritizing our children.
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Your spouse is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. They will be there even after your children leave home to make their own lives. Of course, your kids are important and you need to nurture them, love them, play, pray, laugh, and grow with them. Yes, you need to make your kids a priority. Key word there is “a” – not “the”.
Your kids will learn to put God first and learn about healthy relationships by watching you live out His design for relationships, which will better equip them and give you all a much more fulfilling life. Will it always be easy? NOPE! But God is always there to help and guide you in His will.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
When we choose to balance our relationships on God’s design, we are putting ourselves directly into God’s hands. By living in His design, we are actually putting ourselves first after God because when we trust God with our lives we trust Him to provide for all of our needs. By trusting in His plan we are taking care of ourselves.
In striving to build relationships by God’s priorities I have found so much more joy, peace, love, and fulfillment in my life. I take better care of myself and am able to love my family better. I live by a simple principle that often times the hardest thing and the right thing are the same thing.
We will never grow if we don’t struggle. Just because something is challenging does not mean it is the wrong path. The struggle to live in God’s intended balance is a struggle worth facing so that you can build the most beautiful and satisfying, God-honoring relationships.
Welcome!
I am a wife, mom, writer, crafter, and above all, a Child of God. I love to study the Bible, fellowship with other Christians, and serve God. I am thrilled to invite you to join me in seeking to satisfy our thirsty souls with the Living Water of Christ, which is what Water On Thirsty Land is here to do.
